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Innocent birthday card sparks search for ‘hidden family’

What appeared to be a simple birthday card has unearthed a decades-old family secret and left a grieving daughter desperate to find the woman she believes to be her long-lost sister.

The card was only opened by Elaine Coomber by chance after her elderly mother, Glenys Lynn, was ill in hospital.

Elaine initially believed the envelope contained nothing more than a ‘Get Well’ message, but instead it was a card for Glenys’s pending 86th birthday.

Elaine Coomber with the card
Elaine Coomber with the card

The author addressed her good wishes simply to ‘Glenys’ and signed it ‘Jenny and Cliff’. Neither name meant anything to Elaine.

But it was the accompanying message inside that stunned the former hairdresser.

For Jenny, spoke of a new addition to her own family – a little boy called Logan – and told Glenys that he was her great-grandson.

Furthermore, Jenny wrote of another child soon to be born who would be Glenys’s great-great-granddaughter.

The birthday card revealed a secret
The birthday card revealed a secret

It was her final words, however, that convinced 69-year-old Elaine, that Jenny was a sister she and her four half-brothers and sisters had never known.

Jenny wrote: “I wish so much that my brothers and sisters could know this part of family. Life is so short and it’s passing us all by without choices.”

Sadly, Glenys, a widow who lived in Southdowns retirement village in South Darenth, died in July without Elaine being able to find out more.

Now, with so many unanswered questions, she hopes that by telling her story she will be able to trace Jenny, and the rest of her ‘hidden’ family.

From her home in The Grove, West Kingsdown, the great-grandmother said: “To find out I have this sister who seems to know about us but we didn’t know about her is sad.

“If Mum had been at home and not in hospital I would never have opened that card and found out.

“Someone has given Jenny the information about us, otherwise how would she know she had brothers and sisters? I believe that someone was my mum.

“I’m not angry with her and I think she would want me to find her. I’m pinning my hopes on someone reading this and getting in touch.”

The inside of the card
The inside of the card

Because Glenys was confused due to her deteriorating health following a fall at her home, and then a stroke, Elaine was unable to find out any more about Jenny or the contents of the card before her mum died.

Elaine’s mum never married her biological father, and her stepfather, John Lynn, died almost 30 years ago.

Other names mentioned in the card were Kerry-Ann, who would have been Glenys’s granddaughter, and a great-grandson, Mark.

Searches through boxes of photographs, notebooks and other documents her mum had kept over the years revealed nothing.

However, she did unearth a passport-size, black and white photograph of two young women, one of whom was identified on the back as being Kerry-Ann.

Elaine believes Jenny sent the photograph to her mum.

The photo of Kerry-Ann
The photo of Kerry-Ann

“When this little photograph popped out I just sat there and kept saying ‘Oh Mum’ and, although she has died, I want Jenny to know that I did tell Mum about the birthday card she had sent and that Mum had kept the photograph of Kerry-Ann, her granddaughter.

“But I’ve been through all her little books and diaries, all her paperwork, and found nothing else.

“While I think Jenny must have sent her other birthday cards, I think Mum must have been destroying them all. After all, it’s only by chance I found this one.”

Other clues as to Jenny’s identity and whereabouts include the envelope, which bore a Medway and Maidstone postmark, as well as the message saying Logan was born on April 7, and a great-great-granddaughter was due on June 16.

Elaine said she had seemingly innocent conversations with her mum several years ago about tracing their family history, but her reaction was one of anger.

Glenys Lynn and Elaine
Glenys Lynn and Elaine

“I said how marvellous it was that we could find out so much these days and I mentioned tracing our family history.

“She just flew at me and said ‘You never know what you are going to turn up. You could find a murderer in the family.’ I actually thought at the time that might be quite exciting!

“Now, I look back at that and other conversations and wonder whether there were any clues. I have been left with so many questions.”

Elaine added: “But since Mum died there are things I feel I have got to do for her and finding Jenny is one of them.”

Glenys grew up in the Welsh mining village of Hirwaun, her maiden name being Sedgmore, and gave birth to Elaine when she was 17.

Despite being born out of wedlock – Elaine’s biological father was already married with a child – Glenys kept her baby and continued to live with her parents.

However, when Elaine was between a year and 18 months old, Glenys went to live with her sister, Olive, in Mottingham, south east London, leaving Elaine to be brought up by her grandparents.

In Mottingham, Glenys met John Lynn but his parents, knowing of Elaine’s existence, disapproved of their relationship.

Glenys returned to South Wales, but John followed and they married. Five years after Elaine had been born, Glenys had the first of Elaine’s four siblings.

Glenys Lynn, John Lynn and Elaine
Glenys Lynn, John Lynn and Elaine

Six months later, Glenys, John and the baby went back to Mottingham for health reasons to live with John’s parents.

Elaine again stayed with her grandparents until, at the age of 14, she joined her family, now living in Chislehurst, where Glenys worked as a seamstress.

Elaine is now desperate to know whether Jenny is another half-sister or they share the same biological father.

“To have had a second child to the same married man meant she would have been shunned in the village,” explained Elaine.

“Did she leave the first time because she was pregnant again by my biological father and had to go and live with her sister where the baby was born and perhaps given up?

“Or did she have the baby after my brother was born but could not keep him because the house was so over-crowded?

“My mum did once tell me she went full term with a baby, but he died at birth.

“She said it was a boy, but that may have been to throw me off any scent.”

Elaine has been in touch with the British Association for Adoption and Fostering and been asking throughout her own extensive family.

“One of my brothers thought someone was just having a laugh, my daughter said Jenny could even be my twin, while others have said absolutely No to it all,” added Elaine.

However, one relative recalled a particularly interesting conversation she overheard between two aunts.

“This was in the 60s and an auntie tried to persuade her daughter to give up her baby because there was no room in the house,” said Elaine.

“My cousin told me there was then a reference to this ’happening before when we had the other one.’ Could this ‘other one’ be Jenny? I just don’t know.”

Do you know who Jenny might be, or have any clues as to her identity? If so, contact Elaine at elaine.coomber1@btinternet.com or the newsdesk on 01474 564327.

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