MY MOVIE WEEKwith Mike Shaw

» Have you heard of D-Box? If not, you’re going to be hearing about it in the future. D-Box is an outlandish version of a cinema seat that jerks and vibrates in sync with the action on screen. Kind of like a videogame controller crossed with the seat buzzer gimmick that accompanied 1950s B-movies.

Is it as distracting as it sounds or does it provide a unique viewing experience worth the extra ticket price? I expect a lot will depend on how you feel about 3D and whether it’s a welcome addition to the cinema experience.

D-Boxes have actually been around for a few years now, but only in a handful of cinemas around the world. However JJ Abrams and Steven Spielberg have decided to use the shaky chair tech in an unprecedented number of screens when their sci-fi/action/thriller/mystery/drama Super 8 is released this summer.

So far, the plan is to only trial Super 8 with D-Box in the States but there’s no way it won’t be stupidly popular, which means it’s only a matter of time until the option of watching a film while being shaken like a pepper pot. People with bad backs and piles might want to avoid.

It sounds like a dumb idea but so did wearing uncomfortable glasses in order to deliberately give yourself a headache and motion sickness but now look, 3D is everywhere.

» The search for the lead of the new Bourne film is over. Director Tony Gilroy has announced that Jeremy Renner will star in The Bourne Legacy, a spin-off film based on Matt Damon’s successful series.

Renner, who has been nominated for Oscars two years in a row for The Hurt Locker and The Town, will play an operative from a government program that is even more dangerous than that which brainwashed Bourne.

Renner had only ever been tentatively connected to the role but all along I’ve thought he would be ideal.

He’s at the same sort of stage of his career as Damon was when he first started playing Bourne but where he has an advantage is that he’s not going to have any problem selling himself as a bad-ass.

Expect complaints about the simple fact that he’s not Matt Damon but people need to realise that he’s not playing Jason Bourne – he’s been hired to play a completely different character.

I’ve got faith that Renner will do a great job and with Tony Gilroy directing (he wrote the other three Bourne films as well as the brilliant State of Play) the film will stack up with the rest of the Bourne franchise.

» The last time Zorro was seen on the big screen, it was in the form of Antonio Banderas, directed by Martin Campbell in 2005’s period action spectacular, The Legend of Zorro.

Although nowhere near as good as 1998’s Mask of Zorro, it sounds so much better than a reboot currently being developed at Hollywood giants Fox.

Zorro Reborn will move the character from his historical setting of Mexico/California and dump him in a desolate post-apocalyptic wasteland and it’s one of the worst ideas I’ve heard in ages.

There doesn’t seem to be any reason for the project other than 'post-apocalyptic films are popular, reboots are doing well, we haven’t used Zorro for a while… let’s mash them together!’

It’s ridiculous and the same kind of logic can be applied to almost anything.

Horror remakes are popular, Worzel Gummidge isn’t around much these days, musicals are winning more fans – look out for a singalong version of Poltergeist starring a bumpkin scarecrow and his two disconcertingly young friends.

» Arnold Schwarzenegger is looking to jump start his post-government return to acting by going back to his roots (or rehashing past glories – depends on how you look at it) and starring in Terminator 5. You know what I’m going to say – just fill in the blanks:

What the ****** ?! This is how culture ****** , pulling out ****** and screaming “***** ******* ****** !” Only idiots think this is a ****** ****** and they need to ****** back end ****** Jeremy Kyle, ****** and ****** bleeding ****** pull the end off and put it in a tumble dryer.