After the exams earlier in the summer, our teenagers now have results days approaching.
Pam Crust, counsellor from Relate MNK offers tips for parents and pupils on how to cope with expectations, delight and disappointment.
AS Level Student Leah Ratcliffe celebrates her great results with mum Keeley Ratcliffe
PUPILS
I just hate this waiting period: This is natural. Don’t bottle your feelings up – talk honestly about your hopes and expectations, and try not to keep redoing the exams in your head!
My results were disappointing: If your grades are not what you hoped for it’s OK to feel disappointed and you must give yourself time for that. Talk to someone who knows about your options and where you can go from here. You might be able to retake or consider alternative routes. Find out as much information as you can before making a decision.
Hooray: If you are pleased – well done! Be very proud of yourself. But be aware of others around you who haven’t done so well and are upset. Avoid any kind of gloating.
Party time: Results day can be emotional and parties can get out of hand – celebrating or commiserating it’s easy to get carried away. Stay safe.
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PARENTS
What should my role be? Stay calm. Try to ignore any irritability or snappiness. Talk to your teenager about what they are hoping for and match your expectations with theirs. This helps you know how to react when they open their results and helps them think it all through. Anxiety, panic, self-doubt – your child may go through all these in the lead up to the results.
What Next? If your teenager has done well, show you’re impressed and proud and don’t hold back on celebrating! If the grades are not what was hoped for give them time to come to terms with it. They might want to talk through their options, or they might want to be alone.
Just make sure they know you’re feeling for them and are there to help. Don’t criticise their work or their exam preparations – they will probably already be kicking themselves.
